Sunday , November 27 2022

A trip to Colombia offers a man unexpected excitement

“Colombia? As in drug cartels?!?”

My voice rose an octave and a half as my boss revealed
himself to be an alien from the planet Moron.

“Who goes to Colombia? Do you realize that country’s on
the State Department’s ‘don’t go there’ list?” I
continued in the same vein for a few minutes before
allowing him to get a word in edgewise. He reminded me
that all the major oil companies had major investments
south of the border, that the advisory was for targets
such as diplomats, and that regular business
transactions were continuing unabated.

I wasn’t terribly reassured by all this. He tried to lay
a guilt trip on me, pointing out that this would be a
really good thing for the company to have under its
belt, and that I was the only one who was available to
take it, not that he was forcing me or anything.

When he went on to describe the incentive compensation
and how the client would arrange for a security escort,
and by the way there was a $30 per hour incentive bonus,
then I felt a little better. After all, my passport was
current and I had no dates planned, so taking the job
wouldn’t really mess up my life. I told him I’d take it.

Then my boss gave me the kicker — I’d have to leave in
a week. Great. That wouldn’t give me enough time to get
anti-malaria shots and have them take effect. I eyed him
with thoughts of mercenaries and torture flitting
through my head, but the bonus money won out. Besides,
there was a certain James Bond-ish thrill to the whole
idea of going down there.

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