My name is Katie, and I’m mid-forties, married, with two grown daughters and a lovely husband, Jeff.
My Jeffrey is a warm, loving, easygoing sort of guy that has never had a problem giving in to me when I am serious about something. He lets me call the shots, as it were, and now looking back on our relationship, even before marriage, I would have to admit I’ve always been the dominant partner.
Before we were first married, Jeff confessed to me that liked spanking – that is, he liked to receive a spanking from a girl. A few of his girlfriends had tried to play this way with him, but they weren’t into that sort of thing.
Jeff is six foot, two hundred pounds, was always a good athlete in football and track in school, and you’d never know that he had a submissive side. He always looked and acted like a big bossy jock, which was part of his attraction for me.
As we dated in college, and I got to know him more, he started to open up to me about his true feelings and desires. I listened and asked questions, some of them very direct and deeply probing, and he always answered me truthfully, no matter what.
I really liked the open intimacy that he gave me as he revealed everything I asked about, and I think part of the reason I fell so deeply in love with him was because of his openness and vulnerability with me. He’s anything but open and vulnerable with other people, but with me he is, and that makes me feel very special and very loved.
I shared much of my history with him, but not in nearly so great detail as he did with me, mainly because I was so much more inquisitive. Over time, as I prodded and probed, he shared all his sexual fantasies and secret desires with me, while I shared with him what I thought was appropriate. It’s not that I’m holding back, in fact I’ve told him a lot more than he asked for, but I guess it’s just that my ‘need to know’ is much more powerful than his.
So by the time we were married, I felt I knew him very well. He was a powerful, “A”-type man, with a submissive side that needed a lot of feminine nurturing at home, in sort of a ‘maternal’ way. In other words, he very much wanted me to be in charge, at least at home and in the bedroom, at least a lot of the time. I think he needs it to balance his aggressiveness and dominant persona out in the business world.
Being kind of a bossy girl all my life, this wasn’t much of a problem for me to accept. In fact, he agreed that I could and should have the final say in financial and family matters, while he threw himself into his career and made us a bunch of money, being the big powerful man in the world.
So back to our dating… When he confessed he liked to be spanked, I asked him a lot of questions, and found that the answers weren’t as weird as I might have expected. The bottom line was that, he wanted to completely ‘give’ himself to a woman, feel that she was watching over him, taking care of him, and loving him enough to give him a little correction when she felt he needed it.
One thing that brought out those feelings for him was if his woman would love him enough to take him across her knees from time to time and swat his bottom, to help him stay centered and focused and relaxed – knowing that she was in charge of taking care of him. I suppose there’s a ‘little boy’ inside every big strong man, just needing a feminine guiding hand to help him along in life.
He knew that all of these things he told me might push me away, but he’d rather our relationship fizzle than to live a life with a woman that couldn’t love him the way he needed to be loved.
I particularly liked that he was ‘shopping’ me as a potential wife for a life-long relationship, and not just as a girlfriend ‘for as long as it lasted’. Since he was being so open with me, it showed that his priorities were straight. Such a good boy.
Strangely, his relationship with his mother was truly outstanding, she’s a wonderful lady, and he hadn’t grown up being spanked by her at all. He confessed that his desire for spanking had started during and after puberty, and wasn’t based on past experience with his mother. That was a relief to me, as I didn’t want a man who simply wanted me to replace his mommy.
For my part, I suspected the dominant side of my personality is what allowed me to listen to him and calculate everything with at least a fairly open mind. I weighed the pros and cons and came up with “maybe…”
One night, after a date which had included a lot of kissing and a little petting, we had ‘the discussion’ upon which our relationship built from that time forward, and has lasted all the way to and through marriage and children and twenty-two years together. That was the night of our first spanking.
The night of ‘the discussion’ was the first time I saw my Jeffrey naked, and the first time I spanked his bottom. I think we were both a little disappointed. His genitals were smaller than I had hoped, although that’s not really a good criterion for deciding on marriage, but it’s something I did notice. For his part, I think the spanking I gave him was not nearly long or hard enough to suit him, but he did a good job of being grateful and thanking me.
As we continued to date, we agreed that once per week, and only if we were alone, he could ask me for a spanking. It was my choice whether I gave him one or not.
Over time, he encouraged me to research what he called ‘domestic disciplinary spanking’ in some magazines he gave me. I read some articles and learned a few tricks of the trade.
As our relationship grew as we dated for the next couple years, he no longer could ask me for a spanking. I changed the system to one where I would choose when, where, and why he would be spanked. I also learned to spank for a purpose – meaning, to spank him because of something he did or said, or because I wanted to change something in his behavior – and that sort of spanking included scolding.
On the one hand, I didn’t like the way this made me feel like his mother, or that he was a little boy. On the other hand, he went out of his way to show me that I was his woman, his girlfriend, then fiancé, then finally, his wife, and that I was never his mother. I felt ok with that.
We married, and it was a wonderful June day and everything went well. We moved in together and started our new life.